Randomicity - In blog form

Scotland!

2007-03-24T23:02:40+01:00

Mon' the Scotland! 2-1! I always said we would beat those daft commies! Who's laughing now George? That will be all.

It's Back!

2007-03-23T23:50:23+01:00

I'm back after a while of absence, I would like to say I was taking a skiing holiday in the Alps but I can't. I was at school generally being bored and pishing about. How great? Very bored and I thought to myself, I thought "What can I do?" then I thought "Blog!" so I clicked about a wee bit and tried to remember my password and hey-presto here I am, how good is that? Listening to a wee bit of music - Less than Jake and Howards Alias to be precise - cannae beat Ska-Punk or Skunk as I like to call it, it sounds better than Spunk anyway. I don't really have that much to write about. I need some anger to vent but its already vented. I have nothing to be angry about and you know what? That makes me really angry! I can't moan, I can't shout and I can't complain! Life is pretty darn easy. It's shit. I want something exciting, something I can talk about and above all something that makes people say "Jeezo". Lets face it, telling a story about how you went on a very uneventful holiday and visited a few interesting places would get a boot in the baws fae going on a holiday, parachuting from your burning boeing 747 just before it plummets to the ground like a massive fucking dart; upon landing having to work your way through dangerous woods faced by poisonous animals and losing 3 fingers before heading into a strange city only to find your hotel has been blown up by terrorists. Which sounds like the better trip? Sure the first is safe and you will come back with the knowledge you can do most sums up to 10 on your hands but the second is fun and exciting, plus you can always whip your shoes off to get up to 10 when needs be.

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TV

2007-01-27T21:29:00+01:00

On ITV this evening I noticed that Dancing on Ice was back. What a load of shite. Who wants to watch that? Its quite clearly just ITVs boss people saying "How can we make a hit show?" and then one says "Well, that Dancing show is on the BBC is pretty good. How can we make it more exciting and, therefore, better" so they are thinking and one comes out with "Dancing, but with a twist" and everyone is like "what?" and then he says "It's going to be dancing, on ice!" Great. It stuck and now I have lost the TV remote and have to watch this pish. I should have a say on these shows. Infact I'm going to pitch a few ideas of my own to ITV. Off the top of my head we could have "The Ned Factor" where neds are asked to come to an open audition infront of a few judges to decide who the ultimate ned is. When the neds get to the location where the judging is taking place, lets say Hampden Park, they are all slaughtered by 2 men with chainsaws. Perfect light entertainment for a saturday night! Alternatively you could have Perv Idol as featured on http://www.welltrustfc.net where a myspace or several myspace accounts are created and the aim is for these fake identities to lure men or indeed women into the trap. The nations will be shown the messages shared between the Perv and the "Pervette" and the nation votes for their favorite perv who is presented with a 12 year jail sentence on the last show of the series. Finally you could have "The late show with Jamie Fleming" where I go on and talk to celebraties and share my thoughts with the nation instead of on this stupid blog! Well anyway thats all. If I have anymore ideas for hit TV shows I'll post 'em up.

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Ramblings

2007-01-15T20:55:00+01:00

I figured there is nothing better to do so I decided I would come on my super dooper blog and write the first thing that came into my head but the problem is that it's not all the time I'm thinking so I could be hear until Tuesday but I have to go and get a bass lesson at 8 so this should be a fairly boring entry. Boredom is depressing but I am beyond depression so I am going to stay happy and, therefore, not bored if you catch my drift. I think I would make a good philosipher it sounds like a great profession. I would love to sit in a big country house all day thinking up theories about life and all that sort of stuff, I could do that standing on my head. "Life is shit, live with it." or "If your all going to be so serious how are we going to have any fun?...You heard what the man said, Fuck Off!" easy peasy! Song writing is an easy gig aswell. Slipknot, the pish they come out with! It's unreal. I bet I could write a better song than the best of them. U2, now that is good music. The killers kick ass like Jesus. Well am going now might add more later...

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Boredom Takes Over...

2007-01-13T02:59:00+01:00

Ok, right now its about 1:30 in the morning and boredom has over come me. Only 5 people are left on msn and half of them are shit. 2 are shit and 1 is half shit you see, it's a complicated formula. I have decided to entertain myself somehow. I wonder how long it would take for me to get everyone blocking me on msn, no thats daft. 4 minutes have passed, hooray! People aren't nice at all. Someone who shall not be named just said to me on msn "wanna tag ppl?" so he is now listing what he thinks of everyone. Very insensitive, not like me at all. Thats another 2 minutes away. Oh the boredom.

I have decided to pass somemore time I'll google some stuff.

1)Stapler - Clicky! Virtual Stapler! Revolutionary Online Stapler Simulation!

2)Mug - Click Me! For a magical self stirring mug!

This ain't working. Not much stuff sitting at my computer desk to google. Depressing stuff.

01:41 - I think I'll call it a night at 2. Why do people say "I think I'll call it a night"? Naw! i think I'll call it a day! Its stupid. What else are you supposed to call it? And another thing, why do people link Russel fucking Brand? All he is is a puff with a microphone! If I wanted that I would watch Ant & Dec its better value. 2 puffs 2 mics and you don't have to wait til' 3 in the morning to watch it.

01:45 - Phoned some people on my mobile, they sounded tired.

01:46 - Talking about food on msn, now hungry. Going to take get some food. Back in 5.

01:48 - Trip to fridge was largley disapointing. Only chicken and cheese not good foods right now. Listening to U2, quality band even although some haircuts are in order Windows in The Skies is absolute genious. Who would have thought there were windows just floating about in the sky? Not me for one.

01:50 - People on msn are too serious, they should be more like Oscar Wilde. as jesus once said "My dads bigger than yours" truely inspirational. My ears are really big...really...really big I think its the light in here making them look bigger but who knows? God?

01:53 - Tiredness=boredom=depression I bet thats why emos and goths are depressed, they cannae sleep. They don't wear dark make-up they are just tired. I bet if everyone got off their backs about self-harming they would sleep and be very happy the next day. But they would have to wear dark make-up so they looked cool of course.

01:56 - Politics is boring. TV sucks baws at this time. Boredom sucks baws aswell. Putting some good music on now. Parka are a great band, Indie Ska. Who ever thought Indie Ska up? Must of been clever because its good stuff. People are starting to go off msn now, evil people. Who do I talk to know? Not you because you probably don't have the attention span to read any further. 2 minutes and I'm going to sleep better go out with a bang.

01:59 - BANG! Scared you didn't I? Thats me going off too bed now!

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Smashin', Where's my monacle?

2007-01-12T22:21:50+01:00

Alright folks, this my first blog entry! Smashin'. Wondering about the title, eh? Yeah me too just a wee bit of todays banter. Very under used word. Anyways i have to really rope you all in don't I? Get a wee insight into my mind and get you all reading again. I'll do my best but no gurantees. So... Well, today has been pretty banterous actually - that's banter coming up again you see - but again its always pretty banterous. Anybody else feel like shit? Seriously. It's the weather, its pretty pish I must say thats what makes everyone feel like shit mostly due to the fact you can't sleep from the sound of wind but also the fact the weather is very depressing. It's astonishing really, the weather seems to have turned emo all of a sudden. I wonder if it has myspace. Another thing, why is everyone addicted to myspace fair enough its good for finding out dates for gigs and all that pish but do you really need it? People are are actually addicted although sometimes it can be very, very, very funny has anybody seen Jesus' myspace or a funny one I say was, wait for it, Emo Barry Chuckle! Oh, the banter! Whats the point in myspace? It's mostly emos with pictures at ridiculous angles looking for better ways to slash their wrist whilst listening to all of their pishy music and wearing dark eye make-up - Even the guys! What has the world come to when Jesus is on myspace trading messages with that girl at school who has been influenced to pick up a potato peeler and slit her wrists whilst listening to My Chemical Romance on repeat on her Ipod by Barry fucking Chuckle! It's ridiculous! Anyways I think I have written enough. Infact I am surprised you are still reading. Get a life. Go on. Stop reading. Please? You know what? That's right, I'm going to stop writing then you can't read.

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